My Imaginary Garden

Here I go again, daydreaming of this year’s garden…imagining delicious tasting, perfectly plump, vine ripened tomatoes, crisp hot peppers, large, manageable mounds of fresh herbs strategically placed to ward off invasive insects, beautifully tapered crunchy-sweet carrots with strong tops that never break off when you tug them, oh and loads of summer squash growing on compact bush style plants that respect the boundaries of my weed-free garden paths! I’m dreaming of okra and tender green beans that never hide from me, sun ripened strawberries, those little tiny cucumbers you can make sweet pickles with, oh and sweet potatoes! Lettuce that stays sweet and buttery all summer long, onions and leeks and radishes and beets and swiss chard and pok choy and cow peas!!! A weed never grows in my garden and it’s always 85* and sunny with a slight breeze. There are no squash bugs, no aphids no fungus or blight. Everything is organic and the moon tells me secrets about when to plant and when to harvest.

Stuff about guns…and other ramblings

Let’s face it; part of being self sufficient is being able to defend yourself. No one likes to think about the possibilities of someone doing them harm but the fact is none of us are exempt from danger and the world is full of misguided souls. My personal choice for protection is a good old fashioned pistol. Sure it’s a good idea to know some martial arts or other fighting techniques. And sure, there are plenty of other weapons one can use for self-defense but nothing beats the power and easy use of a semiautomatic handgun.

I wasn’t raised around firearms and self-defense was never really talked about in our house. I guess, like many families, we just assumed nothing bad would ever happen to us because we’re good people. Or maybe we never really thought about it at all. At any rate, it wasn’t until my late twenties that I ever held a gun. Guns were scary to me and I never imagined that one day, not only would I own a gun, but I would also enjoy target shooting and learn how to take apart my pistol and clean it.

My first experience shooting was a project for a Women’s Study course I was taking in college. The goal of the project was to engage in an un-lady-like activity. Well, this was right up my alley!  I was so excited that I was having a hard time deciding which un-lady-like thing to report on first. But then I thought back to earlier in the semester when my professor told us how she had been assaulted once in a parking lot and that got me to thinkin’ about how the heck I would defend myself if, God forbid, some misguided soul tried to hurt me. Bingo! I knew exactly what I was gonna to do for that project. Get a gun and learn to shoot it. And so I did. And I got an A.

Now that I know how to safely handle a gun, there’s no doubt in my mind it’s the most effective means of self-defense available. And it’s a great feeling to know I don’t have to rely on someone else to come to my rescue.

The thing is though, nobody’s ever truly self sufficient. We need each other if we’re gonna make a go of this republic. So go ahead and learn to shoot if you haven’t already but don’t forget to introduce yourself to the neighbors, lean on a truck or two and share a few minutes face to face with the folks most likely to save your ass when the shit hits the fan.

Five Good Reasons to Raise Rabbits

Five Reasons to Raise Rabbits:

1. Low Cost
2. Great Manure
3. Easy to Breed
4. Taste Good
5. It’s Legal!

If you ask me rabbits are second only to chickens in terms of the best livestock to raise. They are small and quiet and very inexpensive to house and feed. They only eat a ¼ cup of food each day. Another bonus is that rabbit manure is what you call cold which means it’s ready to go right into the garden with no composting time required. It’ll really boost the nitrogen level in your soil too without burning your plants.

Rabbits are relatively easy to breed. You will want to house your does separate from your buck. When you’re ready for them to breed, you just put a doe in with the buck and let them do their thing. Don’t put him into her cage though because does are territorial and she might try to attack. When the buck is finished breeding, he’ll squeal and fall off of the doe’s back.

After breeding, if all goes well, your doe will kindle in 5 weeks. Four days before she’s due, put some bedding in her nest box. She should begin to nest and you’ll know the kits are on the way when she pulls out the fur on her belly for them. This makes the nest nice and soft and makes it easy for the kits to find their momma’s milk.

Rabbits are a great source of lean protein. They should be prepared at about 5-6 weeks old. At this age you can expect them to weigh somewhere around 3 lbs, maybe more depending on the breed. Rabbit tastes wonderful when cooked in the crock pot, stewed with homegrown veggies or pan fried with a mustard wine sauce. I have a great rabbit recipe posted on my Real Food Recipes page.

So if you can’t raise chickens for some silly reason like its against the law or what have you, give rabbits a try. Just tell your neighbors they are your pets. Lord knows no one wants to live next door to a farmer!

This post is linked to Homestead Barn Hop

You know what? Chicken butt!

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

That’s as scarce as hen’s teeth.

A hen that struts like a rooster is often invited for dinner.

I been workin’ as hard as a hen hauling wood.

Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow.

He was madder than a wet settin’ hen.

She done flew the coop.

Don’t be such a chicken!

I been running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

What’s stuck in your craw?

Well don’t just stand around hatching rooster eggs.

Shake a tail feather my friend!

Good Neighbors Bring Bread

Today, me and the hubs cut up an oak tree that fell in the side yard an eon ago. About half way through the project I caught a glimpse of our neighbor, Lucy, making her way up the drive with a bag in her hands. Come to find out Lucy’s daughter got herself a bread machine the other day and we’re the lucky recipients of her latest effort.

After the hauling and stacking of that old oak tree and the eating of Lucy’s daughter’s homemade banana walnut bread, it was high time for a nap. Just as I was about to doze off the phone rang. I answered to hear the earth shattering news that my dog was in the across-the-street neighbor’s yard. Not that that neighbor minded; he don’t live here…No the call was from the overly-concerned-about-everyone-else’s-dog-in-the-whole-freeking-world-neighbor who lives up the road a good bit. You know the one who is likely to “rescue” your dog from a 4 inch gap in your passenger side window while you run into the “convenience store” to grab a bag of Gardettos and a lemon lime Gatorade small enough to actually fit into the cup holder on your 27 year old pick-up? Yeah, that’s the one who called to inform me of my dog’s whereabouts on her way home from church this afternoon. Bless her heart.

So much for a peaceful nap. By the time I got off the phone and my boots on and my hat on and my jacket on and then off again (cause the daffodils are blooming and its too damn hot for a jacket even though it’s the first week in FEBRUARY. Hear that Mother Nature?! Its FEBRUARY!!), the goats were hollarin’ for their dinner and the dog was headed up the drive. Time to feed.

An hour later I was back in the house to whip up some skillet mac n’ cheese with a side of vodka. Yep, suppose I can think of many worse ways to spend a Sunday in February. Thank you Jesus. Life sure is good.

This post is linked to Homestead Barn Hop

TRUTH ACTION and sexy lingerie

Part 2 of Habit Busting: Early to rise makes my thighs less flabby.

For the month of January, I developed a positive outlook by avoiding the main trigger of negativity in my life, procrastination, which I found to occur primarily in my comfort zone aka while lounging on the living room sofa. Therefore while I despise rules of any kind, I adopted one for my own good…NO STIITNG ON THE COUCH (until after 4:00 pm).

Having mastered the no couch zone I am ready to move onto a second challenge. For the month of February my goal is to get out of bed an hour earlier which for me will be 5am. And since there’s no couch time allowed I’ve decided to take an even bigger step…I am going to exercise for at least 30 minutes every morning.

If I succeed I am going to treat myself to a new outfit from my new favorite shop, Philanthropy.

This is a HUGE challenge for me people so any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

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I’ve come to realize with my recent experiment in habit busting that the term comfort zone is very misleading. A comfort zone is anything but comfortable. It’s more like a trap, a quagmire of excuses and the perfect breeding ground for procrastination and guilt. Comfort zones create mental barriers beyond which we hesitate to go or GROW.

We use our comfort zone as a retreat from the TRUTH and ACTION of living. It is a place of unfulfilled dreams and meritocracy. Its where we wear our sweat pants instead of our sexy lingerie or what have you…

I’m calling it quits on my comfort zone. To hell with it! Here’s to TRUTH, ACTION and sexy lingerie (or whatever our hearts desire).

A Year in Goats Part I: Spring

Oh right, I’m a FARMER…

Here’s what the heck I have to say about tending your goat herd in the springtime.

• Deworm and trim hooves after each kidding.
• Provide Copper supplements to lactating does.
• Disbud and tattoo kids.
• Rotate pastures if possible.

My year begins in March with the onset of kidding season. I chose to kid a bit later than other farmers, mainly because I don’t find bringing frozen kids into the house to warm by the fire in the least bit cute and I have learned through experience that it’s much easier to keep new moms healthy when the pasture is green. She will be able to get more of what she needs to produce milk for her kids and heal from the birthing process if she has access to leaves and brush than if she’s on a diet of hay and grain.

So the day after kidding I always give my new moms a dose of dewormer and a thorough hoof trimming. They won’t have had either treatment since just before breeding and the birthing hormones trigger a worm population increase. I will also give my does a copper bolus shortly after they kid. This is something I learned the hard way…Even if you provide free choice minerals for your herd, and I highly recommend that you do; your goats may still need some supplements, particularly copper and selenium. However, copper can be toxic when overdosed so do your homework on this one and find out of you have copper deficient soil in your area before you go crazy with it. Cows also require higher amounts of copper than other livestock so you might get some insight on the copper levels in your area by speaking to local cattle farmers. You might even find your goats perform better on minerals formulated for cattle rather than your typical goat mineral.

I disbud all kids as soon as soon as I can feel the little bumps on each side of the top of their head. I will tattoo them the following week. I will blog more about disbudding at another time.

When the kids are two weeks old I latch them up with other kids at 7pm every night. That way their mom’s will have plenty of milk for me in the morning. And so the milk season begins! Around 7am I milk my lactating does on a stand in my milk parlor. While on the milk stand, they receive their morning grain and a good brushing. I examine their eyelids for any signs of anemia, check for mastitis and trim their hooves whenever they need it.

Early spring is also when I rotate my does onto a new pasture if possible. Sometimes, I have other groups taking up all of my spare paddocks so its not possible to give one a rest over winter. It is most certainly ideal however, to move your herd from one paddock to the next to avoid parasite overload and to promote regrowth and diversity in your available browse.

Maybe next week I’ll do Part II. But then again you never can tell with me can ya?

This post is linked to Barn Hop and Works For Me Wednesdays.

Beyond the Painted Picture Puzzle Door

One of the things I set into place to help break the negativity habit is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. While I really fell off the wagon recently, by allowing the drama of my little sister and her baby daddy to derail these efforts, I believe it’s important to allow myself to process the past. Face the forbidden depths of my darkest moments;  let the monster within me breathe down my neck, stomp his foot and snort.Out here in the open, I can examine him. Find out where he came from, what his name is and what makes him tick.

Last week I’d forgotten this monster existed. Ignorance is bliss they say but this rediscovery is exciting. He is the Dragon of Thou Shalt and I’ve been hunting him. At some point along the way his scent mingled with the sweet perfume of goats, soap and True Love. He slipped my mind; crawled under the rug and off the grid.

The Dragon of Thou Shalt holds the keys to the Painted Picture Puzzle Door beyond which life’s limitations vanish and anything is possible. And that my friends, is where my compass is pointed. So the question for this farm girl is, how do I get those keys?

First things first…

Remember and Forgive.

Simple Black Bean Cakes w/Eggs

This is one of my all time favorite winter meals. I hope you will give it a try!

Simple Black Bean Cakes Topped with Over Medium Eggs

This recipe makes about 12 bean cakes (6 servings).

Drain and Rinse 2 14 oz cans of black beans.

In a medium skillet sauté a handful of diced onion and two cloves of finely chopped garlic.

Mash the beans and onion/garlic mixture with a potato masher until smooth. Using a fork incorporate about ¼ cup of cornmeal. Form bean mixture into 2 inch balls and flatten into cakes.

Heat cakes in skillet over medium heat until brown on both sides and warm in the center.

Top each pair of bean cakes with 2 eggs fried over medium, a couple of spoonfuls of green salsa and some bleu cheese or feta crumbles.

Serve with a salad of baby field greens!

I’m linking this post to Real Food Wednesdays on Kelly the Kitchen Kop.

Major Set Back

I was getting off to such a good start squashing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Every day it gets easier to avoid my old morning routine of lounging on the couch, procrastinating and feeling guilty. These days I get up, wash my face, get dressed and get out into the fresh morning air before I give myself the chance to come up with one reason why my butt should park itself on that soft, comfy, oh-so-inviting corner of slip-covered paradise.

And so it’s gone for the last 3 weeks. I wake, feed the creatures and feel grateful for this beautiful world I am blessed to occupy. And then I go about the business of making it to the office while the hubs holds down the fort for a few hours.

Then there was last Friday and the pain in my neck is still there to remind me of it. The thing is my little sis has a baby with a “man” who mistreats her. They live together in a town about 250 miles away so we don’t see one another very often anymore. She rarely calls because he keeps the phone with him at all times. She doesn’t like to ask his permission to use it either…causes a big fight. When we do get to see her, it’s because he has to come to town to meet with his probation officer. Yeah, he’s super classy.

So anyway, last Friday was one of his appointments and she was in town for just a little while. Seeing her triggered some extremely negative emotions, and now I’m feeling guilty about some of them. On the one hand, I’m angry with her for not keeping in touch more, but then I remember how it is to live with someone like him. I’ve been there too; a long time ago…seems like another lifetime to tell the truth. I know what its like to walk on egg shells, to wonder what might set him off, trying to be perfect and blaming myself for his rages.

He was a fool, on a fool’s path not entitled to my imagination, my creativity, my destiny.

I try to explain this to the rest of the family. And tell them she’s in danger and that he’s abusive but they won’t listen. No one wants to really deal with it because there’s not a whole lot we can do and it’s just easier to ignore the signs and pretend she’s irresponsible and she should leave if he’s such an asshole.

The drama of it all is stirring up my past, things I never want to think about or feel ever again. My neck and shoulders are killing me. I haven’t slept well in a few nights and I have a knot in my stomach. I’m worried and I feel helpless to help my sister. I want to escape my body, fly out into the universe, detach from everything and melt away into a billion particles.

…to cope with it all, I did what any reasonable farmer would,  I got a kick ass hair cut at an expensive salon and drank a bottle of Chardonnay.  Maybe its the hangover?